Seri(al)ously?

On March 26, 2009, in Opinion Pieces, by Steffen Itterheim

UPDATE: in case you are simply looking for where to find the BattleForge serial number inside the game’s DVD box then click here to see the post where i explain it step-by-step. Otherwise, if you are looking for an illegal serial number, by all means, read on.

Since the release of BattleForge people started getting to my site from search engines via these search phrases (i keep updating the list):

  • serial battleforge creator
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  • keygen для battleforge
  • serial id on battleforge
  • seriennummer von battleforge
  • battleforge punkte code generator
  • … and some more variations of the above …

You’ve come to the right place, even though you won’t find what you were looking for (assuming you were looking for a way to play BattleForge illegally). Let me help you out: please understand the fact that BattleForge is an online game, and what that means. Seriously, stop looking for serial key generators. It is pointless. Stop wasting your time. You can only play with a valid serial number, and there are no generators that can provide you with a working serial!

Why? Do i really have to explain? Ok, in simple terms: each of the valid keys that went into the retail boxes is stored on the BattleForge servers. When you connect, your game’s key is verified that it exists on the server. If not, you can’t connect. The chances of a key generator “accidentally” generating one of the valid keys is slim. You ever got struck by lightning or hit by a meteor? That’s how likely that is. Actually, statistically speaking, much less likely than that. And of course, if you can’t connect, you can’t play. Not even singleplayer, which for BattleForge is comparable to playing solo in an MMO world.

If you like to try the game, please read a review, check out the BattleForge Demo (direct download of installer, ~84 MB) and then decide wether it’s worth to actually buy it, for example from Amazon. Here, let me make this part convenient for you:

Amazon Deutschland

Amazon UK

Amazon USA

Oh, and if you’re interested to learn what piracy does, and how rampant it probably is, read this blog entry.

PS: … and if you were thinking that listing all those search terms means i’m phishing for page views: you are correct. My intention is for potential players to learn that working serial key generators for BattleForge do (and can) not exist. It is also a document of historical proportions (kinda), showing that some people still do not understand server-side serial key validation and/or don’t know that there is a BattleForge Demo.

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Resident Evil Dead

On January 27, 2009, in Games, Opinion Pieces, by Steffen Itterheim

I’ve never been much of a Resident Evil player. So i wasn’t really looking forward to the new Resident Evil 5 demo on the Xbox 360. And honestly, i didn’t play it much, just enough to know that it’s not a game for me.

The demo just drops you right into the game, no tutorial or anything. Instead the demo expects you to get up to speed with one of the dreaded demo control scheme loading screens for a few seconds.

Ok, so i’m in the middle of nowhere, i walk for 20 meters, jump down a ledge, and enter a hut. CUTSCENE!

Yeah, i just played for 20 seconds and you make me watch a damn cutscene? Ok, it’s a japanese game, i should know better.

During this cutscene i watch someone getting beheaded (no, you don’t actually see the gory details). All around this scene there is a huge horde of enraged, red-eyed zombies ranting wildly. They look grim and even more aggressive than the Zombies of Left 4 Dead. Next, i am spotted and the zombie horde is directed to the hut i’m in.

My reaction: i’m in deep shit! What now, what now?

Uhm … nothing, actually. At least not for another minute or so as the zombies slowly crawl over the fence and scuffle around the building, not minding much that i shoot at them. What the … ? Where’s all the aggression? Gone?

And of course, after just 20 shots i run out of ammo. Ok, so it’s a game where ammo is sparse, i remember that. But which one is the melee button? Then the zombies enter the building. They surround me, slowly. There isn’t really much going on except for occassionally pressing B to help my teammate. But doom is inevitable and picking up ammo while being surrounded by zombies seems so … embarrassing.

In my book Resident Evil is one of those games that has outlived its zenith. It’s probably going to be a treat for all it’s fans and i’ll probably get flamed by this post if one of them happens to read it. But it won’t win any significant number of new players. It plays slow and it feels weird and inconsistent.

It’s now official: Resident Evil is the first game franchise gone hollywood of which i enjoy the movies a lot more than actually playing the game!

UPDATE: Penny Arcade’s Tycho has more experience with the game, and he seems to love it. So if you don’t share my view, read up on his “review”. Yin and Yang.

UPDATE #2: i’ve just read the latest EDGE (#200, gratz!) and they have this to conclude about Resident Evil 5: “The surprising, and sad, thing about Resident Evil 5 is that it feels old.” – giving it a 7 out of 10.

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